A Fathers' Day Love Fest
I’ve heard that moms have 9 months to prepare for their new role, but it becomes reality for dads when they first lay eyes on their baby. As a mom, you immediately think about everything in your world as it relates to that tiny poppyseed in your belly, but for a dad, when does it become real? When do they make the switch from husband, to husband and father?
In our situation, Matt immediately took on the role of protector and caregiver. Since I spent so much time throwing up in my early pregnancy, the reality of this baby was very evident from about 6 weeks in. In addition to working (marathon Advertising man hours) every day, Matt was also picking up a lot of the slack at home. Since I could barely be around food in those early weeks, Matt took over most of the cooking, (and sometimes just the selecting of take out), most of the cleaning, and all of the dog duties. He had always been my partner and supporter, but it wasn’t until this time that I truly needed him to support me…well us. It was a new dynamic in our marriage, and a great lesson for me. I could relinquish control, and things would be fine, even better than fine. This is a lesson I return to weekly now that I'm a mom.
Through the 40 weeks of pregnancy, Matt even tolerated, and then whole-heartedly embraced, my crazy hippy birthing class. During my labour, he continued to say the right things, just as we practiced, despite what I’m sure were threats to his life and liberty if he stood in the way of my epidural. And when that little creature was earthside, he would not leave her as they took her to the incubator to do more suction. Bringing our daughter home was a terrifying 4 block drive, but he endured my squeals of “oh my god slow down you heathen” without so much as a grimace. He was always this way, but somehow, I didn't appreciate it until now.
In our early days as a family of three, Matt ensured we had everything I could need as we snuggled up in bed and learned to breastfeed. He jokes that his sole job was to get snacks and refill endless coffee cups and Nalgene bottles. This is true, but it was so much more. I’m not being dramatic when I say, he literally helped me survive when I was in a state of absolute unknown, a terrifying place for a type-A planner to be. Add in a healing body, boobs the size of softballs, a baby with a tongue tie, and a doggy who has just been demoted, and somehow he managed to keep us all happy, fed, and alive.
Watching Matt become a father has made me love him even more, but also in a new way. The worries I had about not being able to love everyone enough, instantly vanished. Watching him immediately embrace the role of Dad of a daughter so fearlessly, continues to make my heart swell. His confidence with the unknown, and calmness in times of uncertainty, give me the same confidence and calm.
Watching someone you love instantly adore their child, it’s enough to make you want to make another baby…
