What to do about Child Care?
As soon as I was visibly pregnant, the questions about whether or not I was returning to work after baby began. I’ve already discussed how invasive this question is, and how much of a struggle this decision was for me. But there is another layer that factors heavily into the decision whether or not to return to work - childcare.
In Canada, we are fortunate to have the option of taking up to 12 months, and soon 18 months, of paid maternity leave. Learning to live on a reduced income is a nice trial for those considering not returning to the work force, while knowing you have the security of your former position and continued health benefits waiting for you if you decide to return.
But in order to return to work, you have make arrangements for your child, whether a day care, a nanny, or family, or a combination of these options. We wanted to explore all the options available, so when Fin was barely a month old, we visited the nearest day care to our home, conveniently on my route to work. In approximately 4 minutes, we knew it wasn’t the path we would take. It was a great space, but we just couldn’t imagine her there. First time parent anxiety, maybe. But we left knowing that daycare was off the list for us. Additionally, the waitlist for the infant room was over a year in length, meaning we would be unlikely to get a spot anyways. I guess people are putting themselves on wait lists before their children are even born?! I thought kind of thing only happened with elite private schools and Birkin bags?
Thankfully, our mothers had both expressed interest in keeping Fin, so we approached them, asking them to think really honestly about their level of commitment. It is a fine balance between grandmother-ing and babysitting, and we wanted to make sure the arrangement suited everyone’s best interests and didn’t feel like a burden.
Once we were all on the same page with commitment, we set forth making a schedule and setting out expectations on both ends. Currently, the moms are alternating a M-W-F and T-Th schedule each week. We’ve set our schedule for the next 2 months, and will sit down again at the end of summer to review what worked (and what didn't!) and plan for the coming months. I’ve enrolled them in scheduled activities two days, and provided information about plenty of available drop in programs at our local library and the nearby Early Years centre.
With a little bit of planning, I’ll have Fin’s lunches and dinners prepared and in the fridge. Each day, the grandmas will only be responsible for fun! Personally, I am thrilled for everyone to grow their relationship in this special way. My maternal grandfather kept me when mom returned to work, and I have such fond memories of that time, as well as having enjoyed an incredible relationship with him until the very end.
We realize how fortunate we are to have this as a child-care option. Not only is it comforting to know our daughter will be taken care of by people who love her as much as we do, she will be in her own home, with her own things. We trust our own mothers, and know they will follow our wishes in how we parent. Practically, it is saving us a pile of money, since infant day care (or a nanny) is a huge expense. This arrangement works well because the grandmas are friends and have a great open dialogue- both between themselves and with us. I believe our open discussion about expectations early on has set us up for success.
