On the Eve of my First Mother's Day Weekend
I had a friend recently tell me that because of me, she is the mother she is. This is an overwhelmingly huge compliment since I'm figuring it out as I go along everyday/feel like I barely have my own shit together. After I finished my parade, I started to think about the importance of other mothers in our own mothering identity.
First off, this shit is hard. You spend so much time thinking about your pregnancy, the type of birth you want to have, the gear you're going to get, and the way you'll set up the nursery. However, none of that matters when you're up for the 47th time that night. It doesn't matter if your baby was born without Western medicine in a river or by a c-section under hospital lights. Of if you've fed your baby formula from a bottle or breastmilk from your coconut oil anointed breasts. Or if your baby is sleeping on an organic bamboo mattress or in a swing beside your bed.
What matters is you have someone to support you when you're teetering on the edge, thinking this motherhood thing was a huge mistake and frantically Googling churches to drop your baby off so some saintly nun can raise her as her own.
You need another mom friend that you can text at 2:16 am with the mom-equivalent of, "Hey, you up?"
You need another mom to assure you that you're doing a great job, because whatever you did today, its enough.
You need another mom to discuss the grosser parts of motherhood without a flicker of judgement.
You need another mom to tell you that sometimes, yes, its hard for them too, despite their latest Instagram of perfection.
This is a thank you to all the moms around me that are helping me become the mom I am. My own mother, grandmother, Mother In Law, Aunts, and 'Aunts'. And especially my new mom friends, thanks for walking the trenches before me and with me. We are ALL figuring this out as we go.
If you're struggling, reach out and make a friend. On the playground, at the grocery store, or over the Internet.